The Way Things Unfold

Lets see, the last post was made just under a year ago! Update: we moved and we got a new hive of bees, since those that survived the bear attack didn't survive winter.

The way things unfold can leave a person undone at the seams. That's been me, for nearly a year now.

You just never know – things can change in a New York minute. Sometimes, you know from the onset that you are fighting a losing battle but you’re determined to give it your all anyway... in case you get lucky. Sometimes you just know when to fold in a losing game. But we found out the hard, long, way. 

I highly advocate the outlook Jon Bon Jovi espouses: “Map out your life; but do it in pencil.”

We are waiting for another door to open. Another one always opens... that's a rule. Sometimes you have to wait a while though. 

We've finally (after all these years) given up the house and have had to move on. We found a rental about 5 miles away and moved my 80+ y/o parents in too. 

We lost 3 hens, but there are 12 one-month-old chicks in the coop and another 6 eggs due to hatch within a week.
(The chicks were store-bought and placed under a broody hen when they were 6 days old.

She took to them immediately and they took to her too- knew just where to go to get warm! 4 'rainbow chicks, mostly yellow and large!, 4 barred rock chicks and 4 Rhode Island Reds, two of which will belong to my parents so they can feel involved in the homesteading journey.)

I have not until now, been able to dream of the future. I lived with a profound sense of loss and that included loss of hope.

Now I'm ready to work on a new dream, a colorful dream, diverse and full of possibility.
Instead of buying a pre-made Paradise, we will be creating a Paradise of our own from scratch. Somewhere nearby. But that’s all I know for sure. I can’t even say when - that could mean anything right now.

His dreamis Hi is to live in a small cabin and fish in the nearby stream.
He has an interest in greenhouse/hydroponics/aquaponics. He also has an interest in farm land with irrigation. But as far as I know, he hasn’t had time to consider anything a real goal. 
We could live just fine in an apartment over a garage/ or in a trailer -any of which might take less maintenance than a true cabin.

I think the most basic idea is a small house- but with at least 1 greenhouse (here we have 2), a barn, hen house and corrals w/ shelters, an orchard (hazelnuts, cherries, peaches, apples...). and a pond.
I want to raise goats for dairy, (soft cheeses that I can sell, decorated with edible flowers and infused w/ herbs), for meat and for fiber, and to pull carts. I would really love to paint goat carts!

And have a horse to ride. 

And if I could continue that dream.... then lets add a heated greenhouse, a pond, large heated pole barn, walk-in cooler for refrigeration, a root cellar, and a pool (indoor!), a smokehouse, pastures lined with pine trees, and a long driveway lined with income-producing landscape the deer won’t eat –like sunflowers, lavender and Russian sage, and a covered area to sell produce onsite, with tire swings and picnic tables on either side to draw customers to linger.

And a carousel. 

For now, getting gardens going, keeping the poultry & bees alive, quitting smoking, losing weight from nearly 10 years at this desk job (a hard combination I assure you!), and parents healthy and happy, is enough.

One of the hardest things when we moved was that I lost all motivation to create a 'home' in the rental house. It isn't an inspiring house - from the outside it looks like a farraday cage or a metal shoebox or something else equally unappealing - but I call it "Art Nouveau".
The inside was created using mostly stuff from Habitat for Humanity (used and non-matching). This alone drives me up a wall, since a chaotic environment is really intolerable. But, I have lived in worse environments. 

It has been since last August and I am just now able to organize my thoughts to actions, getting those two necessary aspects in sync has been the hardest thing I've ever done (did I tell you I had twins when I already had a toddler?)

Action #1 this week, is get my garden in. I have 4 days to do it, to allow for the latest producing seeds. It's been an unusually cold and lingering spring and the wind has been incessant!

So on that note,  I'm glad to be back, and seeking my way back to a place I can enjoy-- even if there is no dream.
I would be happy for you to follow or join me on this journey. 

I expect to update at least monthly - with photos galore, and with much longer posts, hopefully with helpful information! 



1 comment:

Leigh said...

Illoura, I was really happy that you commented once again on my blog. I didn't realize all you've been through and my heart could only ache for you. Loss of so much works calls for a long time for grieving. So glad your dream is beginning to form and grow once again. I'll be very interested in your journey.